On the 21st, it will be 3 weeks since my surgery. It kind of seems a lot longer than that. Things are going REALLY well. I had my follow-up Wednesday and am on the pill to stop my estrogen since that is what feeds Endometriosis. So I get protection AND relief! (JK but good on the relief part...but maybe I'm not kidding, who knows.)

I have been back to work pretty normally. I worked Sun, Tues, Thurs, Fri, Sat this week. I am tired but I like it. I feel useful and productive.

There has been a turn of events. Let's just say it's better to keep your heart open to forgiveness. I forgive too easily, I know..but it's because I love. My mind is racing again.

md.

PS: If you're reading this directly from my blog, I am aware my background is not working. I will figure out what to do later. :)

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Your Call
Secondhand Serenade

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call-I'm angry
call -I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
when you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your, what's your...)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
x4
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

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Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
So take my hand, and take my whole life too
Cause I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows so surely to the sea
Oh my darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
So won't you please take my hand, and take my whole life too
Cause I can't help falling in love, in love with you
Cause I can't help falling in love, falling in love, I keep falling in love with you

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Hi friends.

I am doing so much better than the last post. I am starting to feel a lot more like myself...no more pre-surgery abdominal pain, and very little post surgery pain (unless I press on them). Not much nausea either or shoulder pain BUT I have had it controlled by Motrin and the nausea by a prescription. I think I can start getting off them, though. The only thing is that I am still sleeping A LOT. If I go out and try to do something it wipes me out. I went to church yesterday and although my attention span was out the window, it was nice.

The only issue is I feel hungover all the time. eh.

I am attempting to do the History final on Friday. Is it safe to say this semester has been WEIRD?? The final is just a map test...I have the map..I can label and color in what I need to remember. I don't think that requires much brain power.

I feel like sleeping some more. Wow. Maybe it's good for me..maybe I am not lazy. Maybe it's my body telling me it's not ready for me to run a mile yet...Maybe.

My mom is bringing me dinner home tonight..Tuna Salad sandwich with chicken noodle. Life is good. :)

xoxoxo mollie

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I have to say that today has probably been the roughest out of all. I have periods of nausea (mainly at night), headaches and a large amount of pain in my neck/shoulder/arm area. I am usually good with pain but this is almost unbearable. I've been told that it is gas from when they inflated my stomach during surgery that has gone upwards. I haven't slept and have no appetite. It gets to the point where I just just start crying on the floor. I wasn't expecting this side effect at all and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I have done an exercise that helps release this gas but it's pretty minimal.

I went out with my sister today to get out and I felt great just walking around but when I sat down, the pain came back even worse that I almost felt like passing out...sigh. Lortab doesn't seem to be helping much at all.

I am going to try to go out again tomorrow to a Christmas party with my work friends. I really miss them. I haven't been to work normally in over a month.

Off topic..I am tired of some people. I know people get busy and caught up in things but there's always time to say hello for just five minutes. I am not dealing with it anymore because it sucks. I am done trying.

mollie

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When I wrote what they found in my abdomen, I was pretty much in another world. I just re read that post and I left a few things out.

Before the surgery officially started, I kept asking them to please find something..anything. My worst nightmare would be to wake up and hear the news that nothing was found and then having to go through and recover from the surgery for no reason. When I woke up, the first question I asked was "did you guys find anything?" and when they told me yes, I cried like I had just given birth to a baby. They thought I was in pain..which I was but I was crying out of happiness and relief- Since I was so drugged, I also could not stop..lol. I can barely remember what happened when I woke up but I remember them taking my temp and for some reason it said 105. Then they took it again and it was 98. Who knows how that happened- I probably had one of my usual hot flashes. :)

Based on what was written down, I had small lesions all over my uterus and the biggest one was on the left side..where it hurt all along. They also found fluid which they drained. They sure did a lot with just those 2 incisions. My follow-up is in 2 weeks and I think from here I will be put on a hormone that stops my period entirely..I also hope this controls fluid build up, too.

I honestly don't know how people recover who have to get completely mutilated. As you can see from the picture, they were pretty small incisions..but hurt like heck nonetheless. It is only day 2 and I am feeling a lot better than I did after the first 24 hours. I couldn't even get up or walk. To a point I still can't but I am laying a lot more comfortable (have to lay on my side).

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Wow..whoever said the day after is the worst..for sure!

My meds don't seem to be helping much..just making me sleepy. I had a tube down my throat too so it's a little difficult to talk, no matter how much I try to clear my throat lol.

Apparently Endometriosis is incurable..but not unmanageable. I don't know for sure what will happen next to keep it from forming again..I am assuming I will be put on some kind of birth control that will keep me from having a period entirely. AWESOME! not sarcasm either :)

Some good news: I have received "Incompletes" in all my classes and one even excused me from the final and submitted my grade as it was. So relieved.

I got some photos of my incisions. It looks like there were only 2 but I will know for sure when I take that band aid off.



I am REALLY bloated in this



Love you guys.

xo mollie

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MOLLIE DUVALL

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[twenty-one yrs young, blogging on and off since 2002, loves photography, God,friends, photoshop, strawberry poptarts, designer, life.]

hi I'm mollie & in my spare time i like to draw hearts. i enjoy the simple things in life and feel i deserve the best just like everyone else. i have not found "the one" yet, but when i do, it will be worth the wait and everything i've learned so far. i have no regrets.

Feeling:

I have faith. Faith in our wondrous capacity for hope and good, love & trust, healing & forgiveness. Faith in the blessing of our infinite ability to wonder, pray, feel & think. I have faith. Faith in the infinite possibilities of the human spirit.- Starbucks Cup

"Don't you Judge Me. Don't you dare. One day I know I'll sit before a just God. Will you be there? Or will your false, your short sighted views hold you back from real truth? All your views leave you hostage, from love, from the real truth. Held Hostage! Don't point your finger like I'm the fake, You let me in this room-that was your first mistake. You've got nothing. It's okay. I was there once so don't point the finger like I'm the fake- you let us in and that was your last mistake. Follow Me. It might be your last "mistake" -Blame it on the Holy Rollers
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