8:58 AM, Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Today. Today COULD be love. Yes, I will make it a love kind of day.
Today I had a 7:30 appointment at "Women's Health"-since they think it's problem involving my ovary/reproductive system (that's what they think now)..and I got to experience what it was like to be an "adult". That's all I am saying involving THAT.
I was hoping for an ultrasound today but the earliest is tomorrow. She thinks that I may have Endometriosis ('Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus (the endometrial stroma and glands, which should only be located inside the uterus) is found elsewhere in the body.') Basically, if that is outside of the uterus, it's not supposed to be. If they see no cysts on the ultra sound they will perform a laparoscopy in which I will be put under and they will go through my belly button with an instrument to see inside my pelvis. At this point, I PRAY they find something. I don't know what it is at this point that has caused me so much crap in my life in the last 3 weeks.
I know people go through worse things-way worse things. I have felt God's love so much through this and I know as long as He is there, nothing else matters. I know I will be okay eventually...it is just always hard to see that side when you're still right in the middle of it. I am TRYING to remain positive but as the days go by and I feel like nothing is progressing, I just feel kind of helpless. I regain these thoughts but lose them as soon as I get bad news or just no news. I need to keep my mind on Him. I can do all things through Him. I just need to keep remembering that.
md.
There's no need to say a thing when I'm before you.
In this silence I feel refreshed with peace.
Break this noise that binds the voice that tries to speak.
Open my eyes to see Your gracious, sovereign reach.
[CHORUS]
It is hard to talk when I feel that You are near,
When all is quiet it's the beauty that I hear.
This hidden place where I know that You've calmed my fears.
I know that You've washed my tears.
The seasons of change I've faced have never left me wounded.
Only scars of hurt, but never deeply rooted.
This healing I have felt, no burden can replace.
Redemptive hope has been the story of my pain.
[CHORUS]
It's hard to talk when I feel that You are near,
When all is quiet it's the beauty that I hear.
This hidden place where I know that You've calmed my fears.
I know that You've washed my tears.
All is lost without the breath of life You give, and You give so much.
I want nothing more than You, so here's my heart
[CHORUS]
It's hard to talk when I feel that You are near,
When all is quiet it's the beauty that I hear.
This hidden place where I know that You've calmed my fears.
I know that You've washed my tears.
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